Coinbase Quantitative Review – SCAM Telegram “Quant Trading” or Legit?
- Crypto MLM ReviewsCryptoCurrency
- March 7, 2025
Welcome to my Coinbase Quantitative Review!
When in Doubt, Slap “Coinbase” on It and Hope No One Notices
🚨 Let’s get one thing out of the way—Coinbase Quantitative has nothing to do with Coinbase, the well-known cryptocurrency exchange.
But hey, in the world of shady Telegram Ponzi scams, slapping a legitimate name on an illegitimate scheme is standard procedure.
If you thought crypto scams couldn’t get any lazier, this one doesn’t even bother with a website. Nope. Just a shady Telegram bot. Because apparently, all you need these days to scam people is a group chat and a logo stolen from a real company.
So what’s the pitch? Click a button, make absurd amounts of money, and pretend basic math doesn’t exist.
Spoiler alert: Math always wins, and in this case, it’s going to wreck your wallet.
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What is Coinbase Quantitative?
Coinbase Quantitative is yet another “click a button” Ponzi scheme where participants invest Tether (USDT) and receive daily returns that defy all logic.
The gimmick this time? “Quantitative trading.” Because throwing a fancy finance term into the mix makes it sound legit, right?
Here’s what actually happens:
1️⃣ You deposit real USDT into the scam.
2️⃣ You click buttons in the Telegram bot, supposedly to “activate trades.”
3️⃣ The bot pretends to generate profits.
4️⃣ New deposits are used to pay old investors (until it collapses).
It’s literally just sending money into a black hole and hoping it magically multiplies.
💭 What could possibly go wrong? (Hint: Everything.)
The Ridiculous Investment Plans
If you’re looking for some of the most mathematically impossible returns in Ponzi history, Coinbase Quantitative has you covered.
Here’s the breakdown of the investment tiers:
💰 VIP1 – Invest 12 to 79 USDT and get 16.7% daily
💰 VIP2 – Invest 80 to 259 USDT and get 17.1% daily
💰 VIP3 – Invest 260 to 819 USDT and get 17.6% daily
💰 VIP4 – Invest 820 to 1799 USDT and get 18.2% daily
💰 VIP5 – Invest 1800 to 4499 USDT and get 19% daily
💰 VIP6 – Invest 4500 to 9899 USDT and get 20% daily
💰 VIP7 – Invest 9900 to 19,899 USDT and get 21.4% daily
💰 VIP8 – Invest 19,900 to 39,899 USDT and get 23.2% daily
💰 VIP9 – Invest 39,900+ USDT and get 25.7% daily
🚨 Do the math. Even at the lowest tier, investors supposedly double their money every six days.
At the highest tier? You’d be making more than 7,000% annually.
💡 Yeah, that’s totally sustainable.
How the MLM Side Works (Hint: It’s All About Recruiting)
Like every other Ponzi scheme, Coinbase Quantitative needs fresh suckers to keep the scam running.
That’s why they incentivize recruitment with commission payouts from downline investments:
🔹 Level 1 (direct referrals) – 12% commission
🔹 Level 2 (your referrals’ referrals) – 2% commission
🔹 Level 3 (your referrals’ referrals’ referrals) – 1% commission
Translation? The only way to make real money is to recruit people who don’t realize this is a scam.
💭 Good luck explaining to your friends why they lost all their money.
Similar companies to this include Treasure NFT and CTK Shop.
How the Scam Will Collapse (Because It Always Does)
Every “click a button” Ponzi follows the same inevitable collapse pattern:
1️⃣ Phase 1 – The Hype Stage
- Scammers flood Telegram with fake testimonials about how people are “making thousands per day.”
- Newbies jump in, thinking they’ve found the Holy Grail of passive income.
- Early withdrawals are processed to make it seem legit.
2️⃣ Phase 2 – The “Oops, We’re Running Out of Money” Stage
- Withdrawals start getting delayed.
- They introduce “new rules” to “optimize the system” (aka stall payments).
- Users are told they need to “reinvest” before they can withdraw.
- The excuses pile up: “System maintenance,” “wallet upgrade,” “unexpected demand.”
3️⃣ Phase 3 – Total Collapse
- Withdrawals are fully disabled.
- Telegram admins disappear overnight.
- Victims are left wondering how they got fooled.
- Scammers rebrand under a new name and repeat the cycle.
🚨 Newsflash: This has already happened hundreds of times with these scams.
Why Coinbase Quantitative is a Total Joke
🔴 No website. Just a Telegram bot. – Would you trust a “bank” that only operates on WhatsApp?
🔴 No real trading. – If “quantitative trading” actually worked, why aren’t real hedge funds using Telegram bots?
🔴 No external revenue. – Every payout comes from new investor deposits.
🔴 Fake branding. – Coinbase should sue them into oblivion.
🔴 Mathematically impossible returns. – Even the biggest Wall Street firms don’t make 25% DAILY.
💡 It’s not trading. It’s not investing. It’s just theft with extra steps.
Final Verdict: Stay Far, Far Away 🚨
🚨 Rating: 0/5 – Guaranteed to Collapse
✔ If you’re in, get out before withdrawals stop working.
✔ If you’re being recruited, don’t fall for it.
✔ If you lost money, don’t fall for “recovery scams” asking for more deposits.
💡 The only people making money are the ones running the scam.
🚀 Final Thought: If clicking a button made people rich, we’d all be billionaires from playing Candy Crush.
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